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I married the man of my dreams a month after
discovering my birth name. We were married
In the New Year I began to search for missing peace
I continue to share my journey. Just before I was married I came across my adoption papers at the bank. My Mom was with me. Mom waited quietly beside me as I opened the envelope. I was hoping it would open the door to open communication. I asked who Linda Marie Lunn was . Mom explained that this was the name my mother named me. I thought to myself mom will open up about my beginnings after all I am 30! As I began to anticipate some answers my hopes to find out more of my beginnings were squashed by mom say I am not at liberty to give any more information.
I didn’t pursue the topic as I knew it was closed.
Speaking my Truth
After been sworn to privacy of my adoption by my family I stuffed a lot of Hurt which turned into Anger that began to fester and build until I could no longer hold it in. I remember once my dad at the expressed fear over opening up adoption records for access of information for adoptees to find their parents as my parents were promised that my adoption papers would be private. This closed the door for me to ask
my dad questions. It closed me being open with my dad .about my beginnings. We had a surface relationship as I couldn’t ask questions. We could joke and teased with one another but issues of the heart remained closed. My dad was the kinded light hearted funny man I ever knew.
My dad passed away and we never talked about my questions of adoption and his reasoning behind why keeping my adoption records closed.
Dad was suddenly taken a couple of years later with a massive heart attack. I began to grieve the loss of my dad.